Walking Hand in Hand with Jesus

Sometimes you read something and it stops you right in your tracks. Your throat begins to close up, you feel tears in your eyes, and your head starts to pound and spin. This has happened three times to me in the past two years, each time when I read that a sweet sweet friend has left to join Jesus. It's crazy how you remember exactly what you were doing when you get the call, read the message, or see the post. It tears you down oh so quickly. Losing someone sucks big time. Seth, my cousin Sarah, Brittany, and Michael all went to join Jesus before any of us were ready. But, Jesus was ready for them to join him and was waiting for them with big open arms. I know all of them now have the privilege of getting to walk hand in hand with Jesus, side by side.

It is so easy to let suffering consume us and keep us from being able to hear God's voice talking to us. The pain we are being shown, as much as it hurts each of us so so bad, it is also an invitation to grab God's hand and hold on tight. We often start asking a series of "Why?" questions. Why them? Why now? Why Morgan County? I found this quote and it really helps when we are beating ourselves up over the why....

"Don't vex your minds by trying to explain the suffering you have to endure in this life..... Even in the midst of your suffering you are in his kingdom. You are always his children, and he has his protective arm around you...Don't ask why; don't try to understand. Does a child understand everything his father does? Can he comprehend parental wisdom? No-- but he can confidently nestle in his father's arms and feel perfect happiness, even while tears glisten in his eyes, because he is his father's child." -Albert Schweitzer in Reverence for Life

As I'm writing this, i'm listening to "It is Well" by Kristene Dimarco, and all I can think about is Brittany singing. One thing about Brittany is that she was NEVER afraid to sing and dance in front of a crowd. From dancing together since we were little to being in plays together, Brittany was the most fearless performer I knew. One of the hardest parts about losing people, is learning to live without them. There are constant reminders of people and that will forever throw us off guard. Every time I drive home from college, I pass exit 71 and every time I do I say a little prayer and smile because I know Seth is up there watching over each one of us, and now Brittany and Michael are with him. Today when I passed the exit slow big alligator tears rolled down my cheeks, for all three of these sweet souls looking down on us.These reminders are there because these people had such an impact on your life. From Brittany's smile and contagious laughter, to Michael asking you about your life every time you saw him, they will forever hold a place in everyone's heart. It's easy to be selfish and want them to be with us, but how great is it that they get to spend eternal life with our heavenly father. And now, Seth has someone to throw the football with and everyone in Morgan County has even more guardian angels to look over us.

"Through it all my eyes are on you, through it all it is well."